In the heat of the moment

Did you think I wouldn’t find out eventually?

You were always my biggest disappointment.

After all this time there will always be a split moment where I’ll look back and remember you and all I can do is smile sadly. Wondering where and how you are and think to myself, “I hope you’re okay.”

Another night

Waking up to an unfamiliar ceiling was nothing out of the ordinary. Sirens blaring from a distance, head pounding and throat painfully dry. It’s barely morning. From your side comes loud snoring, he reeks of cheap cologne and has his entire right arm sprawled across you. You dig through the back of your mind in order to recall last nights events. Oh yes. Corny lines, a charming smile and a few shots of tequila was all it took this time. You gently pry yourself from his grasp and move from underneath, careful not to wake him. You find your pants on the windowsill, the remainder of your clothing scattered throughout the room. You dress yourself in darkness, then carefully navigate yourself through the dark room filled with empty beer cans and Chinese takeout boxes.

With one hand on the door you look back at the sleeping mess sprawled on the mattress, for a second you try to recall his name, until realizing that it really didn’t matter.

Time

Remember when the only promises we had to worry about keeping were ones sworn through pinkies? When the only pressures we’d have to succumb to were double dares? It’s funny how much ones life can change over a decade. At this age things are just getting to be more difficult by the minute and honestly, they’ll only be getting harder. 

Things happen, moments will come and go, you’ll met people who will change your life and people who will pass by without a second glance. Life will hand you grand opportunities one moment and completely screw you over the next. Don’t live with regrets and always try to live out the best of every moment. Time is continuous, a never ending cycle, it won’t wait for you to catch up. You just have to go ahead and move along with it and don’t ever forget yourself in the process.

Anonymous asked: Why all the angst?

Well it’s just the general mood I’m trying to aim for right now. No worries though, not all of the posts will be this angsty. Promise.

Don’t tell me

It’s that moment where my voice gets caught in my throat. Where my stomach drops and heart starts to clench so painfully. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, maybe I’m just over thinking too much again. But what else am I suppose to think with all this in front of me? It’s my own fault for looking, it’s my own fault for being nosy. I was better off not knowing, I was better off in the dark.

“Maybe they’re just friends.” They try to convince me. But I can hear the doubt in their voice.

Yeah. Maybe.

Remember

It’s strange. It really is. I went almost a month this time without thinking of you, not even the slightest thought ever crossed my mind. Surprising right? A new record to say at the least.

I’m not quite sure what triggered it this time, I was driving just driving down 4th street to that bookstore we’d always go to on Sundays. They had the entire edition of your favorite series out in front, I remember when you were so excited when I got it for you for Christmas. While driving back home, that song you’d always hum started playing on the radio, I’d always hate it when you’d get it stuck in my head but that only just encourage you to keep doing it.

I really have no idea why I thought of you. Not the slightest clue, not one.

You decided it was best to leave because I deserved better…

Well damn, shouldn’t have that been up to me to decide?

It’s not a silly little moment
It’s not the storm before the calm
This is the deep and dying breath of
This love we’ve been working on

Can’t seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms
Nobody’s going to come and save you
We pulled too many false alarms

We’re going down
And you can see it too
We’re going down
And you know that we’re doomed
My dear, we’re slow dancing in a burning room